I spent the week picking at two small pimples that became two fiery volcanoes on my right cheek so I stepped boldly into my job interview this morning knowing that I would never make a good dermatologist, but I’m taking big shots at being a nurse.
This was the interview I had been waiting 3.5 months for since I applied in mid-May. (I can now testify that apart from waiting for an ex to come back from Iraq, or that time I waited to lose like, 5 pounds, that’s the longest I’ve ever waited for anything!…bravo to me!) I was friendly and smart and quite captivating if you’d allow me to be so bold. It went well. I made them laugh and we talked about the shoe sales at Nordstrom’s. Can I get an Amen?
That being said, still with no job offer in hand, I find myself between a rock and a chocolate bar, wondering if I did the wrong thing by following the Lord (or at least what I thought was the Lord, and then Bible school, and now flailing around like a little tadpole who doesn’t know one day she’ll be a frog), if I’m behind all of my college peers because once upon a time I thought it would be a genius idea to invest in the eternal things. (I still believe that, in the depths.)
I’m coming out of an environment where I saw in faint glimpses that I am nothing and Christ is everything, and yet I’m trying to sell myself as a perfectly capable, useful (and hilarious!) member of society, and if someone would just believe in me I would gladly give them 40 hours a week (soul not included).
Regardless, the vast unknown is still terrifying, y’all. Somewhere along the way I lost the manual on How to Be a Functioning Adult in Your Early 20’s. Does anyone have it? Can I get a copy? PDF version?
For now, I’m a full-time servant of the living God (He is, in fact, my boss) and desperately praying that my view would be changed from valuing money-making to valuing a solid investment in the Body of Christ.
Fear not, precious one – the prospects are positive because I’m a consecrated person. I have no fear that He’ll abandon me. It’s like when you know that the rollercoaster seatbelt is not going to actually unlock, but the ride is still rickety and thrilling and sometimes vomit-inducing.
I’m rambling. I need more God. See below.